This satire is a little too good to not link:
What concerns me is that intelligent design as suggested in the Bible goes beyond merely explaining human origins and the complexity of eyeballs. To be both thorough and consistent, advocates should demand that science classes include additional biblical truths presented in Genesis.
I particularly like this:
We must also stop insisting that various trees are indigenous to diverse parts of the earth. Genesis 2:9 reveals that every type of tree in the world today sprang in the Garden of Eden, later revealed to lie near the Euphrates River, presumably in the vicinity of today's Iraq.
The subject of botany should be amended to teach that fact, and also to include two trees that are not even mentioned in today's botanical texts: the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, consumption of whose fruit endows awareness of right from wrong, and the tree of life, consumption of whose fruit assures eternal life.
Assuming our national leaders were capable of distinguishing good from evil, perhaps the real reason for invading Iraq was to seek eternal life.* When discovered, the tree of life will be recognized by the cherubim - beautiful winged humanoids - who guard it, and by a flaming sword nearby which turns in every direction (Gen 3:22-24).
* Yes, I realize that is the Tree of Knowledge in the picture. All the ones of the Tree of Life seemed to be lacking flaming swords.
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