It's a classic story of triumph, a narrative that permeates everything from "The Count of Monte Cristo" to "Rudy". All too often, however, gentiles seem to think the Festival of Lights is just dreidel spinning and candle burning. This leaves me wondering, ala Charlie Brown, if there is anyone who knows what Hanukkah is all about.
Apparently, according to Rabbi Yehuda Levin, Hannukah is all about anal sex. Seriously. The upper class Jews loved their Hellenistic overlords so much that they decided to show it by expressing the love that dares not speak its name. Good thing the Maccabees knew how to distribute some old time, Biblical, expeditious, justice.
The faithful Jews, willingly martyred themselves to defeat the debauchery of that time both heterosexual and homosexual. Thus Chanukah represents the first ever defeat of a world power's homosexual agenda!Holy crap on a popsicle stick! That's a whole lot a crazy! Well I don't know anything about Rabbi Levin, but if this Wikipedia entry is accurate (and I certainly hope that it isn't) he likes to hang out with Fred Phelps. Yes that Fred Phelps.
I want to return to my bubble now.
* Pun intended.